on Andrew Motion….

Broadcast – sent in on 27 June – Broadcast 28 June
I had a little notion to write verse like Andrew Motion
But it’s hard to find a couplet that’ll rhyme.
The weather is atrocious. The chickens have turned ferocious
And we’re up to our necks in mud and grime.

Blueberries

Weds 27 June
So I see from today’s Daily Telegraph (other newspapers are available) that scientists now recommend we eat blueberries to keep the brain young and fight brain cell loss.
Well Major Dickie bought some last week.  We tried some and jolly nice they were too.  The problem is neither of us can remember where we [...]

Sharapova

Broadcast!
This was a dreadful poem. Much to my surprise TW read it out. He obviously agreed with me on how bad it was as he said it was absolute rubbish!
Sharapova, a young tennis goddess
Made men O’er the world feel quite breathless.
Her beautiful body and face
Made many a pulse start to race.
It’s those [...]

Wimbledon

Broadcast at start of programme
My advice to Wimbledon:
Never believe the Long Range weather forecast.  Why else did they leave the roof off centre court this year.
 

Hosepipe ban – bet we get one.

Broadcast – 25 June 2007
Now that we have been deluged by the wrong sort of rain through this wonderful summer drought and June has been a complete washout,  I am becoming increasingly concerned about the impending hosepipe ban.
Unlike the Council employees of Marylebone Road or those in Wootton Bassett we have been [...]

Polishing £50 notes

Broadcast – 25 June 2007 – well the first line anyway!
I see we are now required to Polish £50 notes.
I wonder if your other listener could help with some advice on how to do this. Not that I have managed to get my hands on one – but it’s as well to be [...]

A failure week ended in success of a sort

So I didn’t do too well last week. In fact as far as the programme was concerned I didn’t feature at all. It was a difficult week as the PC got ‘hit’ by the storm on Tuesday night.
Anyway I did manage to send a few emails in on Wednesday but to no avail. [...]

CMC – again!

Broadcast
I’m baffled – I thought Master Chef was a cooking programme but last night the ‘ voice over wench’ announced: “Nadia is concentrating on keeping calm and producing beautiful plates” – so we’ve all been hoodwinked and in fact the whole thing is about potters.
Tansy

Ode to Terry’s trip to Devon

So Terry went on a trip to Devon
And sat in a ditch with Kate
He asked dear Bill to join them
Realising his mistake too late.
For Bill he likes to natter
and once he starts won’t stop.
Our Kate still in her lycra
Caused many a pulse to throb!
Bill expounded on about choughs and wrens;
And not wishing the show to [...]

Celebrity Master Chef – new cringe levels

Broadcast
I imagine you were unable to feast your eyes on last night’s episode – feasting as you were with Kate and Bill. Suffice it to say, it reached new cringe making levels and therefore compulsive viewing!
Lots of undercooked or overcooked food and Craig Gravel-Hardstanding having the shakes so badly he couldn’t even hold the tongs!
The [...]