The cows and sheep and the gases

Broadcast
Last night on some BBC TV programme or other – that we happened to cross – it was announced that scientists from Aberystwyth were investigating and analysing the methane produced by cattle and sheep – so here is a little ditty:
So the cows and the sheep – awake or asleep
Emit gases which effect global warming.
And [...]

Falling downstairs update

With thanks to my sister-in-law for the following:
Hush, hush, whisper who dares
Poor Tansy Whitebytts has fallen downstairs
Tel took a tumble, which caused her alarm
Her grief made her stumble and brought her to harm
Still – silver linings and clouds spring to mind, as they say
She can now lie around and hear Terry all day
The crutches of [...]

Pride cometh before a fall – and I’ve just found out – it hurts!

Broadcast(well the 1st paragraph)
I suppose it serves me right for mocking you for falling downstairs!
As I made my unceremonious descent of our stairs yesterday morning the thought crossed my mind that it must be your fault for subconsciously planting the idea in my failing brain!
I have to say I did let go of the [...]

Charles & Lynn plan a take over

Broadcast
Charles, Charles
IvaNove, IvaNove
Newsreader by decree
Had great plans for advancement
Down at the BBC.
Charles, Charles said to Lynn; Lynn he said, said he
Let’s block up the roads with traffic
Let’s block up the A- Fortee
So Charles
He blocked the road with lorries
And Lynn put out a decree
“Terry is stuck in Traffic -
He can’t make it here you see!
We asked [...]

Another verse about Andrew Motion

Some people have a devotion
To the verses of Andrew Motion.
But I find my preference tilting
To those from Crookie or Wilting

Lady Helen is to blame for Terry’s fall downstairs

Broadcast
I blame Lady Helen for your accident on Sunday.
As every woman knows – men cannot multi-task so it was obviously her fault for allowing you carry the glasses of water whilst attempting the difficult task of negotiating the stairs. Your brain cells were evidently overloaded.
I suggest she allows you to practise with one glass to [...]

Gordon – our new PM

I see Gordon is obviously concerned the rising waters are going to reach Biblical proportions – why else has he just appointed a senior officer from the Navy to join the ranks of his advisors!
Gordon looked out on England
With a trouble brow.
And wondered if it had been wise
To take on Tone’s job just [...]

Flanders & Swann

So Flanders and Swann got it right all those years ago – well before Global Warming – Oops, I mean “Climate Change” was even a glimmer in someone’s eye:
“June just rains and never stops
Thirty days and spoils the crops.
In July the sun is hot
Is it shining? No, it’s not”