Sat Nav toothbrushes

Broadcast
So According to today’s Daily Telegraph (other newspapers are available) there’s a new electric toothbrush with ‘satnav’ installed.
Will this help me find my way to work each day? No. It just tells me how to find my mouth. Where I need to brush and how long to brush for.
It’s a triumph!

A verse to Lynn Bowles and her Feeler Gauge!

Broadcast – though he baulked at the last line!
It’s not a spanner or wrench
That will win this Welsh Wench
It’s a Feeler Gauge for which she is panting!
And over the hills and the vales
There are many young males
Who would Feel her Gauge if that’s what she’s wanting

The Restaurant

Broadcast
Never mind the tears. Never mind the lack of edible food. What I didn’t understand was the filming. Especially that aerial, night time shot which looked like something out of ‘Arry Potter as Raymond Blanc might say!

TV Scheduling at the BBC

Broadcast
So Tuesday’s the night when the BBC has everyone charging about. What with Nick Crane riding round the countryside on a girl’s bike – what was all that about – AND he had lost his umbrella. Then Adam Hart-Davis encouraging us to invade Mars, not to mention that Tribe bloke chasing reindeer [...]

There are just too many cookery programmes!!

Broadcast – but not attributed! But then he had just read out another one
It’s either Criminals in the Kitchen
Or next week – Nigella in a rush
And tonight the restaurateurs of Raymond Blanc
Could be about to make us blush.
Rick Stein is running round the Med
Loving everything he eats.
Good grief BBC I just can’t cope
With [...]

Thank you for going away for the weekend!

Broadcast – at the start of this morning’s programme
Good Morning Sir!
I would like to thank you for leaving the country. Due to your decision to bale out of this water-logged land for three days the weather took a major turn for the better and we have been blessed with wall-to-wall sunshine over the entire weekend.
Well [...]

Little Poem to the weekend!

So Terry made for the Baltic in the wind and rain
To find sun in England he had searched in vain.
And as his plane launched itself at the unsuspecting Swedes
The clouds cleared over England and the English shed their tweeds!
The Sun split the paving stones, the temperature soared quite high
Only to fall again as Terry – [...]

Noises off – Building works outside your studio

Broadcast – but not attributed!
Good Morning Terry
I do hope you find your studio peaceful this morning after yesterday’s interruptions by the workmen crashing around outside.
I am sure your other listener isn’t bothered by any extra crashes, after all we are used to you crashing the Pips several times a week!
Tansy

Dinosaurs

Broadcast
Radio 4 has devoted several minutes this morning on the subject of how fast various types of dinosaur could run. I was totally under-whelmed by this fascinating subject.
So how fast can you run Terry? – they failed to mention you!
Tansy

Kitchen Criminals – I still don’t understand it

So the cocky one survives for another day
As John Burton Race has his final say
He hates watching people destroy beautiful food
The fact they can’t cook is really no goood.
I find it quite shaking to watch them all try
And I still don’t understand it. Why BBC Why?
Tansy