Good old Bloomin-eck and his Peking Duck

Broadcast 
Fantastic – Good old Bloomin-eck and his Peking Duck
Major Dickie was thrilled – at last an opportunity to use the foot-pump,  and to test his sewing skills when he pegs out the duck skin on the cooking rack.
He’s planning to follow Heston’s recipe to the letter  – by starting tonight he hopes to have his [...]

“Less-On” a wardrobe hire company for Fanny Hill

Broadcast – Well the bare essentials!!
In view of the BBC’s continued persistence in stripping down their Costume Dramas to the bare essentials, Major Dickie and I are launching a new wardrobe hire business:
“Less-On”
Major Dickie wondered if your Travel Tottie might be persuaded ‘for a small consideration’ to model some of our more adventurous outfits, available [...]

Matrix Signs

Never mind the ‘Sign Not in Use’
What really winds me up is the one on the M4 which says ‘Swindon 20 miles, 18 minutes’.  It said it last week, all this week and probably will continue to say so.
OK  we now all know.  Tell me something new.
It even said it when I was stuck in [...]

Why Sheep don’t shrink when they get wet

Why Sheep don’t shrink when they get wet.
The other morning your other listener asked why sheep don’t shrink when they get wet.  This is obviously due to the temperature of the rain.
Now it’s too cold but with Global Warming the temperature is due to increase.  When the rain temperature reaches over 30 degrees C the [...]

Hotel trains staff for naked Sleepwalkers

I am very concerned about the announcement in today’s Daily Telegraph (Other newspapers are available…) – Hotel trains staff for naked Sleepwalkers
In particular the spokesman who said “It is important our staff know how to help sleepwalkers when it arises!”
Tut tut – obviously he’s been watching Fanny Hill

Costume Dramas – excellent judicial use of costumes!

Broadcast – but not attributed!
I’m pleased to see the BBC is already taking its Cost Cutting to heart.
Brilliant start – leaving the costumes out of a number of scenes of their latest Costume Dramas – The Tudors and now Fanny Hill on BBC4.
An excellent wheeze to have everyone get their kit off [...]

Nigella!! – Weekly report

Broadcast 
I was sadly disappointed with Nigella last night.  No double-entendres or innuendos at all.
She threw some crushed chillies on a salad at one moment and said something about “Add what you like – It all depends how much poke you want.”
And then later  told us she didn’t mind if her pears poked out – all [...]

Heston is wrecking my home!!

Heston Bloomin-eck has done it now!  Major Dickie, whose enthusiasm for cooking is taking on terrifying proportions since Nigella appeared on our screens, now wants to dig up the garden to create a tandori oven.
Look I can cope with the entire contents of the tool shed being used as cooking implements but this is going [...]

Today is the 98th birthday of “Lord Moor Common” – father to Tansy

Broadcast – for which Lord Moor Common’s heirs are very grateful. Appreciative as they are that reading out birthday announcements is a rarity
Today is the 98th birthday of “Lord Moor Common” – father to Tansy
His “Lordship” puts his longevity down to a diet high in Salt, butter, full-fat milk, double cream [...]

Nigella

Broadcast
Phwaww! Another steamy night of Nigella. This time she nearly brought the Whitebytts household to a halt by saying “Let’s crown these beauties!”
Followed up by walking around in her black silk nightwear telling us she loves to “stroke her shelves” Major Dickie nearly burst a blood vessel!
I think I [...]