What’s with the fiddling????

Broadcast – unattributed 
Do you have a license for that thing? – And did you get permission from the Elf and Safety Brigade  before you used it?
Dangerous that’s what I call it!  Go careful !
(The above refers to Terry’s Radio 2 Ad. on TV)

Save us from the Data Protection Act

I had the misfortune to telephone a water supplier yesterday on behalf of my father.
After clearing a level of security which would impress Fort Knox, the jobs-worth chap at the other end announced with triumph.
“Sorry, I can’t discuss your father’s data – Data Protection Act – HE must ring us.”
Me: “That’s OK. I don’t wish [...]

Boggy stood on his polished deck

Broadcast – but not attributed
Our Boggy stood on the polished deck
His prowess all afire
The snow falling all around him
His masthead white with desire
The harbour walls close for safety
In case he has to swim.
As bailing out is not his forté
His bilges could overwhelm him.

Never mind the Oscars – Bring on the Tennis Players!

Broadcast 
Never mind the Oscars  – the world can have their dose of speeches without troubling the scriptwriters!
Bring on the tennis players!
That very pretty  Ana “IvanItch”  may have lost the match but her speech rivalled many an Oscar acceptance one!
Well done!!
She must have thanked the entire world – individually – Well she definitely mentioned Deadly – [...]

McDonalds A Levels

Broadcast – partially and unattributed !!
So McDonalds are going to be allowed to issue ’A’ Level Certificates to their staff.
No doubt these will come in various levels: Standard, Big and KingSize
But – with all that cooking fat – will they ‘Grease the wheels’ for the recipient into other industries?

I am insulted!….

Lured in to that well known High Street purveyor of pharmaceutical goodies by the promise of Protection and Perfection against ageing, I followed their instructions to the letter and filled my basket with lots of creams and potions!
Eternal Youth was about to be mine!!
How come then when I had lightened my wallet considerably did [...]

Master Chef goes Soft??……..

Broadcast 
WHAT has come over Gregg and John?  Are they getting soft in their old age?
At the  start of the semi-final stage they actually Sat the Contestants down and then when they were sat sitting  on the sofa,   the soft music started to play as they broke the news – gently – to the contestant they [...]

Ode to the Bodmin Road-Kill Chef

He scours the road sides at midnight
In search of road-kill to eat
A tasty morsel of hedgehog
Or Badger – if well hung! – is a treat
He enjoys the fact it’s been flattened
By a passing lorry or car
With that added zest of tyre-rubber
Plus the piquancy and body of tar!
He scrapes off the fur in a [...]

Chris Evans is poaching Deadly…

Last Night  Chris Evans offered up Deadly
For someone to give him a home
So Deadly will no longer be lonely
He’ll no longer need to live on his own.
Young Chris concerned for his welfare
Asked the listeners to feed him on Spam?
With a pint of pinot to wash it down with.
But a listener vowed to feed him on [...]

choose your knickers with care……….

The choice of Nether garment should not be taken lightly
It shouldn’t fit too loosely – nor should it fit too tightly.
The fabric should be soft to touch and also be supportive
To hold you in when you’re relaxed or even  when feeling sportive!!
So choose a fabric soft as silk though prices may be high
And the gusset [...]