The UN is giving me their dosh!

Yesterday I was privileged to receive a personal communication via t’internet thingy – from the one and only “Mr Ban Ki-Moon”. Mr “Ki –Moon” has kindly offered me – oddly via the United Nations – a sum of USD 250,000 – as I – apparently – have been the victim [...]

So today’s my birthday

And in the absence of anyone much wishing me a Happy Birthday I am wishing myself one!
I just hope that this year will be better than the last 3 months of the last one – which have been more than slightly tough.
Still I am off to Brussels for the weekend which is going to [...]

“Spankings in the boardroom “… and more…..

Broadcast
Phew! The Apprentice had something for everyone last night:
Incomprehensible Jargon: “Rainbow of skills” and “Heads up on my style”
Brain-dead Moments: Bless the girl who held up a feather duster and asked “What’s this?” – “IT’S A DUSTER!”
And as a final bonus SirrAllan’s sidekick Nick offered “Spankings in the Board Room”
What more could we all ask [...]

Kate Humble’s tits usurped by the Long Tailed variety!

Broadcast
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Kate Humble’s Great Tits have been usurped by the little known Long Tailed Tit as the most seen tit this year!
She’ll really have to do a lot to redeem her position in this year’s Spring Watch!
However, The Major remains hopeful that she will come up trumps!

Oh dear, oh dear – Now shrubs are fighting back!

I see from today’s Daily Telegraph (other newspapers are available) that a Council has been accused of “Crimes against shrubs”
Well – Before any under-cover police investigate my garden and my picture appears on posters around our village, I wish to confess that I have pulled up several weeds, trimmed the hedge and may [...]

Last night’s offering of “The hottest place on earth “

What fun to watch Kate Humble and her chums pottering around in the hottest place on earth!
But – according to Major Dickie – the really hot moment – was the sight of Kate Humble snuggled up in her bed with not a lot underneath !

Now we’re told gardening is dangerous

Good Morning “Sirly” Terry
So another day for the gloom mongers.
Not content with yet another reminder that drinking  wine is a killer – liver disease this week -  (unless of course we are indulging on a week when it’s good for us)
Now – NOW – just when Spring has sprung and our thoughts turn to a [...]

A little ode to Charlie Nove’s driving

Broadcast
Will you drive a little faster ?
said The Deadly to Young Nove
There’s a fire-engine just behind us
and I have reason to suppose -
If you brake now we’ll be scuppered
as they’ll drive into our rear
And the costs of repairing it
will be high – or so I fear.

Councils to resort to plain English

Broadcast (but unattributed)
It’s all very well and good for the Local Government Association to ban councils from using jargon – such as “Blue sky thinking” and “early wins” – but perhaps they could extend their powers to National Government and Politicians.
We might then be spared any more “Quantitive Easing” (money [...]

Life gets harder with the new Gender neutral language

Broadcast
Life will get very complicated with the new Gender neutral language.
And The far reaching implications will soon be felt by all works of life.
Work must now start on re-writing all prayers as “Amen” must be removed and be replaced with “APerson” or “AhPerson” depending on how you like to pronounce it
And what about Humankind [...]