Lynn better look out!

Broadcast – unattributed

The Daily Telegraph’s letters page has been discussing the annoying habit of Newsreaders waving their hands and moving about.

Today I see one correspondent has posed the question “Do Radio announcers wave their hands about too?”

Now Lynn – come clean – and tell the Nation.


And I personally find it VERY distracting.

A question for the Ask Lynn ‘slot’

Surely Lynn – with her deep knowledge of the outdoors – will be able to answer this important question:

“How do naturists protect their assets?”

Rum Knickers – Well really!!…..


Dear Lynn

I was very concerned to hear you talking about  all those rum knickers  yesterday.

My dear girl you must remember that most gentlemen of a certain age have seen more rum knickers in their lives than they care to mention and it is of the UTMOST importance that a single girl like you NEVER wears such a garment.

Nice frilly knickers with a hint of lace are much more seductive and will make you very popular.

Believe me –  I KNOW!

The Maldives goes in for underwater meetings!


So  – according to various news reports – the Maldives cabinet is going to meet underwater using hand signals and boards to communicate.

So when can we expect you to broadcast from the bottom of your bath?

We know Lynn’s hand signals to be second to none  and Deadly always sounds if he speaking from the depths so it should be a  “shore” –  fire winner

The trouble is given the dribble (I mean drivel) you usually broadcast will anyone notice the difference!

The Lynn’s Basque Spot:


Now the Lynn’s Basque Spot has achieved the all time accolade of being a regular morning feature

Can I ask her – woman to woman –

Should I go for the lace-up-the Front basque or a more difficult to reach – back fastening number?

Which is the more enticing?

These things are important – as I am sure she knows.

Probiotic Yoghurt – Ask Lynn

Before the “Ask Lynn “ spot floats off down the River of Missed Opportunities into the Sea of Disaster, please could she advise on what is meant by
“Probiotic Yoghurt” – a statement proudly proclaimed on the lid of my current pot of yoghurt!

And is the opposite “Antibiotic Yoghurt” ?– and if so – Is it medical? Should we all be eating that instead?

Or is that one just for spreading on our sensitive “Whitebit” areas??

In these days of Health Scares – the nation needs to know.

We need answers and we need them NOW!

the nation needs an answer


The question the nation wants to know is
Can Lynn spin her tassels like Fabia did last night on Britain’s Got Talent?

Lynn Bowles underwear issue!

Is Bowles’s back-axle pert or saggy
Are her knickers – brief or baggy
Or perhaps a thong is all she requires
Held together by the use of her pliers!

Lynn – on waving her arms!


 So Lynn can only cope – with reading the traffic

When waving her arms in a fashion – erratic!

But the Listeners are left – often quite in the dark

As we attempt her instructions – often missing the mark.

So to make things clearer and so we know what she’s at

Please can you give her a set of – big – Ping-Pong Bats!

We might – just – see those!

So Lynn wants a snuggle from Deadly

So Dear Darling Lynn wants a snuggle with Deadly
Something I’m sure he will agree to quite readly
Let’s hope for you he’s not over zealous
And that Barnsley and Dy aren’t over jealous!


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