Brilliant Heading in today’s Daily telegraph:

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Headline of the week!!

“My Affairs with two judges didn’t affect our briefs”
Well – I don’t know whether to be sad for them  or pleased!!!

The restaurant – latest series – Le pauvre Raymond

Is it me?
My ‘eart bleeds for le pauvre Raymond !
If those  9 couples were the best from thousands of applicants – Wot in ‘eavens name were the rest like!
Even Inspector Barnaby would have been terrified by the knife wielding pair trying to wrestle that coconut to death!
Not to mention their tin opening skills.  Never had [...]

good old Midsomer Massacres

Phew!  What a night!
Another good crop of bodies – which I find SO re-assuring!  It would be such a let down if there hadn’t been.
Mark you I do find it odd that so many mass murderers live in Midsomer!
Personally I also think they missed a trick.  If Cully had found the second  body  rather than [...]

Give the Maths a rest on Radio 4 !!

There really is too much Maths on Radio 4!
Especially at 6.15 in the morning.
This morning dear old John Humphries and his sidekick were bombarding my senses with inflation figures, the rise and fall of employment numbers and the activities of Hedge Funds before I’d even had a chance for my first cup of tea.
Thank you [...]

Master Shout – the semis….

So what was wrong with Gregg last night.  He seems to have upped the anti even more.  Whereas Michel became quite calm and reasonable about the wannabe’s in the Semi Final, Gregg seemed to be enraged that they had got this far!
Actually maybe he has a point!
I am glad however that they chose the contestant [...]

Master Chef – another Car Crash evening!

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So those master chef contestants “Hope to ‘break in’ to the top ranks of the world’s culinary elite.” Do they?    Well  breaking in is the only way they’ll get there  if last night was anything to go by!  They won’t get there by cooking that’s for sure!
Some of the courses  even failed to appear in [...]

Norma Snoquers lives in Benson not Sweden!!

Dear Sir
The TOGS listened in amazement yesterday and are now confused!  (So nothing new there!)
Ms Norma Snoquers is known to us as the co-habittee of one Phil Occifer of Benson and thus does not live in Sweden or any other Scandinavian country.
We have checked and she hasn’t  “done a runner” –  but is tucked up [...]

Rum Knickers – Well really!!…..

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Dear Lynn
I was very concerned to hear you talking about  all those rum knickers  yesterday.
My dear girl you must remember that most gentlemen of a certain age have seen more rum knickers in their lives than they care to mention and it is of the UTMOST importance that a single girl like you NEVER wears [...]

The Maldives goes in for underwater meetings!

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So  - according to various news reports – the Maldives cabinet is going to meet underwater using hand signals and boards to communicate.
So when can we expect you to broadcast from the bottom of your bath?
We know Lynn’s hand signals to be second to none  and Deadly always sounds if he speaking from the depths [...]

CODPIECE – The Society for those against frugal cooking!!

Things have indeed come to a sorry pass –
And I urge TOGS to join C.O.D.P.I.E.C.E. –
(which – as I am sure you realise – stands for
The society for Consumers of Out of Date Products In Every Cupboard Everywhere.) –
Concern has been mounting for several weeks that people are [...]