Broadcast

A day when a Bobby can’t be let loose on his bicycle until he has read and absorbed the 96 page tome  on “How to ride a bicycle”  !!

A day when  if you want to sell those extra eggs from your few chickens –  you must first comply with the “EU laying Hens Directive”  which will require a visit from men in full protective gear to inspect your premises!

I think I shall just close my eyes and go back to sleep.  I can hardly wait for tomorrow!!

Broadcast – unattributed

The Daily Telegraph’s letters page has been discussing the annoying habit of Newsreaders waving their hands and moving about.

Today I see one correspondent has posed the question “Do Radio announcers wave their hands about too?”

Now Lynn – come clean – and tell the Nation.

“Yes”

And I personally find it VERY distracting.

Broadcast

Good grief is nothing sacred

According to my Daily Telegraph this morning (other newspapers are available).  Researchers have  now decided we could “Save the Planet from Global Warming”  if we stop throwing away  our cold cuppas of Tea or Coffee and reheat them instead.

And then drinking these stewed dregs!   Yuck!

But – Hang on ONE MINUTE

I thought we  were  already using too much power !  So now we are going to use even more and inflict misery on ourselves into the bargain!!

I am confused.

He has come through and lives to fight another day!  He must have the constitution of an elephant – or something.

Phew!

It’s been a tough week.  Lord Moor Common has been very ill.

His offspring have assembled to be with him.

Fingers crossed he looks as though he has turned the corner and is on the mend.

Broadcast

Headline of the week!!

“My Affairs with two judges didn’t affect our briefs”

Well – I don’t know whether to be sad for them  or pleased!!!

Is it me?

My ‘eart bleeds for le pauvre Raymond !

If those  9 couples were the best from thousands of applicants – Wot in ‘eavens name were the rest like!

Even Inspector Barnaby would have been terrified by the knife wielding pair trying to wrestle that coconut to death!

Not to mention their tin opening skills.  Never had a knife and rolling pin been put to such hair-raising endeavours!

Hadn’t they ever come across that  basic  piece of culinary equipment – The Tin Opener!

“Attention mon pauvre Raymond -   Don’t do it!  You ‘ave a good life!  You do not need to go into business with ANY of them”

The look of desperation on the poor man’s face said it all!

Broadcast

So  Scientists have found that a little butter applied to the spout of a teapot can stop it dribbling!!!

Please could they extend their efforts to find a way to stop me having the same problem!

I  have tried  applying a little butter to the corners of my mouth – but I keep licking it off.

The Result is   -   I dribble even more !

I consider their research is flawed!!

Phew!  What a night!

Another good crop of bodies – which I find SO re-assuring!  It would be such a let down if there hadn’t been.

Mark you I do find it odd that so many mass murderers live in Midsomer!

Personally I also think they missed a trick.  If Cully had found the second  body  rather than Mrs Barnaby then at long last we could have had the answer to the immortal question:

“Hello Cully what are you doing here?”

So where’s Ray Mears when we need him?

Here we are being bombarded by squadrons of Ladybirds and not a single recipe from dear Ray on how to cook them!

Where is the advice on how long to fry them ?

Should they be lightly tossed in a little butter or deep fried?

(A little butter with a dusting of pepper sounds tempting – but I could be SO wrong)

These are important questions we need to know.  And where is he?   – off in Canada somewhere!!

Typical !!