Thames Water!


I have just had cause to ring Thames Water (other water suppliers are available, but not around here), to be greeted with “If you would like to find out more about the current drought please press 1”. WHAT DROUGHT? Haven’t they looked out of the window recently.

Our garden is completely waterlogged. The chickens have taken refuge on the roof of their chicken coop and are refusing to come down until we meet their demands for water-wings and the local wildlife is busy building a raft from driftwood.


Heston Bloomin-eck


Having watched Heston Bloomingthingy last night I have now started to cook the sauce for Major Dickie Whitebytts’, birthday next August – but I am worried I may have started just a bit too late.