Early January 2007


Not Published:

 

Major Dickie Whitebytts – to whom the very mention of the need for a set of Deadly Allen Keys sends him running for the door, has finally found his DIY forté.

Faced with blocked drains over this festive season he borrowed our neighbour’s drain rods.

 

These wonderful tools came in a lovely bright yellow tube and his little eyes sparkled when he found the splendid collection of attachments available!

 

Soon he was rodding away and involving himself in long discussions on the various merits of the ‘screw in and pull out method’ to the ‘plunge and thrust’.

 

He has even spent his Christmas pocket money on his very own set –

 

A superior model with “Locking Nuts” – which I did feel sounded somewhat painful – but which he assures me only prevent unscrewing?!

 

He can now be found outside nearly every day happily rodding away at our now, more than pristine, drains.

 

 

Not Published:

What I want to know is: If milk in tea destroys the beneficial properties of tea.

What does tea do to the semi-skimmed? Given the fact we are also now told that drinking that isn’t as good as we were led to believe.

 

I think I shall give up and just drink Hot Water.

 

Come to think of it perhaps that’s where all this research has ended up! In Hot Water!!

 

*****

Not Published:

So young Johnny wants to set fashion on fire

We believe it’s his aim and desire

In a suit of pale blue

With a cape of rose hue

And boot tassels of silver thread wire!

 

In times past this attire was deplored.

The Dandies were often ignored.

As Beau Brummel once stated

When his attire was debated

“In dress – sometimes less can be more”

 

*****

 

 

Broadcast
Ha! So Thames Water are about to lift the hosepipe ban are they? So someone finally looked out of the window and noticed all the river craft sailing down the M4.

 

Perhaps they would like to find our chickens who bailed out weeks ago having attached floats to their chicken house; used the protective awning as a sail and set off for higher ground! They were last seen heading for the upper reaches of the Chilterns.

 

 

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