Sent 29 January 2007 – not published
Removal of Mr Marsh’s shed from the Whitebytts garden – Immediate Action Required
For the Attention of Mr Marsh
From: Tansy Whitebytts
Will you please come and retrieve your shed. Last Thursday – a week ago – this large edifice deposited itself in our garden during the gales. Fortunately for you the construction landed the right way up.
Major Dickie successfully broke in over the weekend using a chainsaw he picked up from some beach or other.
He informs me that the contents appear to be intact but has taken it upon himself to work his way through the various “Films for the Discerning Gentleman” to ensure no item has sustained permanent damage.
The fact that the Major has taken on this self-imposed task so diligently is causing me a certain amount of concern as I usually can’t get him to do anything.
He has also been making some VERY suggestive remarks to me, which, for a man of his age, is a worry.
As he won’t let me into the shed to see any of these films for myself I am rather in the dark and look to you to remove both the shed and its contents before Dickie suffers permanent damage to his health.