“Shabbie Hill” – A tale of the near downfall of a young Traffic-Wench


“Shabbie Hill” – A tale of the near downfall of a young Traffic-Wench

CAST:

Sir Deadly Keen (An ageing moustachioed lothario) – Terry Wogan
Inspector Over of the vice squad – Alan Dedicoat
Shabbie Hill – Lynn Bowles
The Detective – Barrowlands Boyd

THE SCENE:

Shabbie sitting on her own in Mrs Nibblet’s Parlour

ENTER SIR DEADLY

SIR DEADLY: “Ah! Shabbie. Mrs Nibblet has been telling me of your gentile shabbiness. My Dear – verily you are indeed shabby.”

SHABBIE: “Why Thank you sir. You are too kind”

SIR DEADLY: “Well my shabbie young filly will you allow me to take you to Maidenhead. I have a fancy to visit it with you and I divine you shall enjoy the Ride if I have anything to do with it.”

SHABBIE: “Oh Sire, If you do truly want to be my Sweetheart, I shall go with you – all the way – and we shall visit Maidenhead together, for I have never been there before.”

ENTER INSPECTOR OVER.

INSPECTOR OVER: “Unhandle her Sir. Shabbie is not as Shabby as you suppose. She is a lady – I grant of some years – but none the less virtuous. You shall NOT venture to Maidenhead with her.”

SIR DEADLY: “You are wrong Inspector, She shall come with me!”

SHABBIE: “Oh Sir – I fear we cannot – I am in receipt of the latest traffic news and the way to Maidenhead has been rendered impassable!”.

INSPECTOR OVER: Sir, I shall have to ‘Inspect Her Over’ to ensure no harm has come to her. Come here my dear”!

SIR DEADLY: “You are a fraud Sir. Do not lay a finger on her! I shall fight you for her”

INSPECTOR OVER: “AaaaHHHH – I die”

ENTER THE DETECTIVE:

“I say Shabbie – What are you doing here?

Good Gracious – There’s been a murrrrrderrr”

THE END

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One Response

  1. I’m really surprised he didn’t read that one out. I loved it!

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