What’s with the fiddling????


Broadcast – unattributed 

Do you have a license for that thing? – And did you get permission from the Elf and Safety Brigade  before you used it?

Dangerous that’s what I call it!  Go careful !

(The above refers to Terry’s Radio 2 Ad. on TV)

Save us from the Data Protection Act


I had the misfortune to telephone a water supplier yesterday on behalf of my father.

After clearing a level of security which would impress Fort Knox, the jobs-worth chap at the other end announced with triumph.

“Sorry, I can’t discuss your father’s data – Data Protection Act – HE must ring us.”

Me: “That’s OK. I don’t wish to discuss my father’s data with you or anyone else – It’s YOUR data I want to discuss.

It’s YOUR data which is wrong!

So there’s no need to worry about Data Protection!”

That floored him!!

(Interestingly this is the same company which will re-register an account on nothing more than a phone call!)

Boggy stood on his polished deck


Broadcast – but not attributed

Our Boggy stood on the polished deck
His prowess all afire
The snow falling all around him
His masthead white with desire

The harbour walls close for safety
In case he has to swim.
As bailing out is not his forté
His bilges could overwhelm him.

Never mind the Oscars – Bring on the Tennis Players!


Broadcast 

Never mind the Oscars  – the world can have their dose of speeches without troubling the scriptwriters!

Bring on the tennis players!

That very pretty  Ana “IvanItch”  may have lost the match but her speech rivalled many an Oscar acceptance one!

Well done!!

She must have thanked the entire world – individually – Well she definitely mentioned Deadly – I heard her thanking the ball boy!

Bravo – Roll on Wimbledon!

McDonalds A Levels


Broadcast – partially and unattributed !!

So McDonalds are going to be allowed to issue ’A’ Level Certificates to their staff.

No doubt these will come in various levels: Standard, Big and KingSize

But – with all that cooking fat – will they ‘Grease the wheels’ for the recipient into other industries?

I am insulted!….


Lured in to that well known High Street purveyor of pharmaceutical goodies by the promise of Protection and Perfection against ageing, I followed their instructions to the letter and filled my basket with lots of creams and potions!

Eternal Youth was about to be mine!!

How come then when I had lightened my wallet considerably did the kindly – rather too young girl behind the counter – look at me with a concerned eye and present me with a money off voucher for yet more lotions – all for other brands than the one I had just invested in – all promising to improve my looks …..

Does the product I purchased fail to work???

Or did the serving wench feel I need yet more help?

Master Chef goes Soft??……..


Broadcast 

WHAT has come over Gregg and John?  Are they getting soft in their old age?

At the  start of the semi-final stage they actually Sat the Contestants down and then when they were sat sitting  on the sofa,   the soft music started to play as they broke the news – gently – to the contestant they were kicking out!

This is soap-opera stuff!

Gosh a whole new dimension is before us!

Glad to see the League of Master Poisoners was out in force at the beginning though.  Always nice to see John and Gregg deal with the uncooked ‘plates of food’!!!

How many more weeks of this can we take?