The new dishwasher is on its way


Ooh What fun. The nice people at Survival International have been reading my ramblings. And leaving comments!

Life is looking up. The new dishwasher is on order. A quick phone call and the deal is done. Unseen. Life is too short to spend hours looking at different models. After all it either does its job or it doesn’t! The overflow protection feature was vital in the decision – we daren’t soak Lord Moor Common!

Edible Candy Underwear


I have just received one of those ‘excellent’ catalogues full of items and gadgets indispensible to modern life!
A whole mass of splendid kitchen gadgets , writing and gardening implements and other paraphernalia greeted me !
But – Oh no – I hadn’t realised what a complete failure my life has been!
I have failed to buy Major Dickie socks with the days of the week on.
We don’t own a set of battery powered, floating bath lights.
But worst of all – We have never considered: EDIBLE CANDY UNDERWEAR!
The offer includes:
A set of Candy Tassels – which – from the picture – don’t appear to cover any credentials at all
A Candy Thong ….. ?????
And …….. The ultimate in male apparel – A Candy Posing Pouch.
According to the blurb – all of them edible!!
I have to say I am tempted!!
I could get a set for your underlings if you wish. The description claims “One size fits most!”

RIP To the Dishwasher!


RIP to The Dishwasher – it has died. Having thrown all its water on the floor last night it won’t have anything to do with water any more. It has metaphorically turned up its toes! This, in the great scheme of things, is not catastrophic but nonetheless irritating. Especially given the Whitebytts current production line of homemade jelly this weekend! Purchase of a new machine will be The Number One Priority on Monday!

But the sun shone again today and we threw caution to the wind (what little there was of it today) and swam in the pool! Well having poured copious amounts of chemicals in it all summer, for hardly any benefit, we had to take advantage of the warm weather! Refreshing but very pleasant was the verdict!
As a thank you to it we have bought it yet another present – a new winter cover! Swimming pool maintenance is not cheap!

The jelly making reached its conclusion this evening. We now have lots of jars to sell at our Tea for Tribes do.

At least we avoided “paddling in the kitchen” as an evening activity today, so we could watch Strictly Come Dancing Results Show in relative peace!

A slight case of Crab Apple Jelly and M4 Jams!


Lots of activity in the Whitebytts kitchen last weekend. Having raided the local crab apple tree and also stripped a bush or two of Rose Hips it was action stations. The Major was away on manoeuvres which left the coast clear for a good bit of domestic activity. Success! The Crab Apple and Rose Hip jelly turned out a good rose-pink colour, clear and set to perfection. Stunned by this success I made a second raid on the tree and also found some sloes (rare this year in our area). More hubble-bubble and with the addition of some Rosemary and a pint of cider vinegar another batch of jelly was created!

Crab Apple Jelly jars

Crab Apple Jelly jars

I am going to sell some at my forthcoming “Tea For Tribes” which we are going to be doing in a couple of weeks in aid of Survival International.

Thursday was a disaster on the roads. I do wish my fellow travellers would stay upright and on their wheels. Vehicles do not go well on their sides – especially lorries! Chaos ensued and yours truly took over 2 hours to get to work. I hadn’t realised Reading was such a large place. Given the slow speed I negotiated my way through it on that morning I had plenty of time to appreciate it to the full. I am sure there are various Togs in Reading who I could have visited had I but known their location!

The Major returned from his encampment at the start of the week and today was determined to join in the jelly making exercise so a further raid on the tree was made. More Rose Hips were also collected. All went well until the washing up stage this evening. The trusty dishwasher was loaded and we settled down to watch Strictly Come Dancing.

Then Pow! Out went all the lights and the TV – major loss of power to the Whitebytts establishment. Further investigation – with the means of the torch – finally tracked the problem down to the dishwasher. Actually we were now paddling. Once switched off, the Trip Switch allowed us to have our power back. Now the main hitch is that we inhabit the 1st floor of the joint venture which comprises Lord Moor Common’s residence and our own. Was Lord Moor Common now under water? Or at the very least experiencing an unwelcome shower?

The Major despatched me to investigate! The Lord was unperturbed and – fortunately – dry! He is a doughty 99 year old!

We ate supper. The Major’s philosophy of always march (or in this case mop) on a full stomach is a good one. We watched the tale end of Strictly.
We mopped. We mopped some more. We emptied the dishwasher. We mopped. We unblocked the blockage. We mopped. It was really exciting – if you happen to like that sort of thing.

I really enjoy a quiet Saturday night in!

More on the Restaurant – but can we take any more?


Help!
Since The Restaurant fell into the schedules, I have taken to shouting at the Telly!
I am not sure if The Major and I can take much more – and the space behind our sofa is too small for both of us!
The ‘chefs’ aren’t doing too badly – it’s their front of house partners who seem to be inhabiting a different planet to the rest of us! Those poor Oxford Dons must have wondered what hit them.
Jugglers! Snuff ! Never mind the late food – which of course we could have all predicted.
Still at least The father and daughter partnership were put out of their misery – and ours – last night.
But roll on next week – just to hear Raymond saying naughty English words with his ever stronger French Accent! Tut tut Raymond – “Bollocks” indeed!

Ode to Ze latest episode of Ze Restaurant……….


Broadcast

Raymond offered little piggies – for his chefs to savour
So they could cook up all the meat and then vi for his favour

Some told little porkies on what was on the plate
Some failed to please. Some dished up rather late!

Lots of them lost the plot and orders got confused.
I felt sorry for the Punters – who looked just plain – bemused!

So another week of cringeing failure and Raymond’s looking Triste
“Why oh Why did Ze BBC give me contestants such as Ziss!”

Anton du Beke is beating Deadly in pursuit of the Almighty Dollar!


Broadcast

I’m worried! Anton du Beke seems to be outwitting Deadly in his pursuit of the Almighty Dollar and is taking over the schedules – what with Hole in the Wall (Least said about that the better) – and not to mention Strictly Come Dancing!

And then – Just when we thought the gluttony of Food Programmes was over for the season – up pops Anton – AGAIN – with “Step up to the Plate”.
This seems to be an unnecessary mixture of Master Chef and Ready Steady Cook .
At least we are spared him on the latest run of Le Restaurant.

But Poor Raymond Blanc – Michel Roux should have been kind and warned him not to do it! You can almost see the bubble above his head:
“Oh my God – can’t ANY of them Cook!”
Perhaps tonight’s episode will be better….!