Master chef – the final at last!


Christopher was a callow youth in MasterChef round one
He entered to improve his skills and have a bit of fun.

But now he is an older man and keen to prove his metal
With pan and grill and skillet and the occasional steaming kettle.

For Mat it was a tearful time he cried through every round
he started off quite overweight – well certainly rotund!

Through each drawn out round he wept a bit and got a little thinner
And in the end with his Exceptional Food he became the MASTER CHEF WINNER!

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Rules, rules, rules – We’re doomed


My 99 year old father – Lord Moor Common – was summoned for a blood test this week. Given his age we asked if he could have this done at home, pointing out that his Doctor, the Flu-jab nurse and various other carers were all able to pay home visits.

“Oh no” came the swift reply from the Receptionist. “The nurse isn’t insured to visit his house – what would happen if she had an accident”

Well given my father still manages to get round his entire house unaided I am somewhat concerned at the physical capabilities of current nursing profession.

Needless to say once we got him to the Surgery he made his views on the subject very clear!

He’ll make the 100 yet!

MasterChef – this is one spun out competition


Is it me? I am sure that when Master Shout began Christopher was a young lad who had only been cooking for 3 years –
Gosh hasn’t he aged since then – but then haven’t we all!

Boggy and thoughts of Pitlochrie!


Dear Boggie
My thoughts strayed to you yesterday evening . Just as I put my foot down – leaving the town of Marlow.
Pow the world lit up – that split second of splendour – and that’s when I thought of you and those lovely lanes in Pitlochrie –
Yes I too have benefitted from the joy of having my car photographed and have joined the ranks of those who – through a moment’s lapse – keep funding the local piggy banks!

At last a must for every Train Commuter!


The Flying Scotsman Clock – as advertised in the weekend papers!

What fun to be woken on the hour – every hour – by the realistic sound of a miniature train whizzing round its own little track – albeit in an Anti-Clockwise direction!

– producing the “GENUINE SOUND” of the Original Flying Scotsman!

And – if that wasn’t enough – A little stationmaster – popping out of his ‘cuckoo-clock type house’ – complete with platform – to announce its arrival.

That must be so reassuring to hear at 3 O’clock in the morning!

The makers are apparently thrilled by the clock’s “Precision Quartz Movement” ensuring accurate timing and arrival of the train.

What Fun!!

Every commuter’s dream purchase as they struggle to work!! Worth every penny of the five monthly instalments of about £25.00!!

Worrying quotes from the Idiots’ Lantern


from last night’s MasterChef:
“It takes 2 hrs of preparation to get a bird ready for roasting “
– Now that’s a fact that every man should take heed of !!

from a young man on that Jasper Carrott golden thingies show:
“I have my hands on my balls and I know what’s in them”
– Phew that’s a relief then!

Yippee – I’m rich!


Broadcast

I have just been contacted by a jolly lady in Nigeria offering me untold millions!

The account she has found and wants me to share has “not been operated on for the past 4 YEARS so can be closed and the millions in it shared by us both”

The account was owned by “ an Oil dealer, who unfortunately lost his life in the Air France Concorde crash  on July 26, 2000. “

Now I can see a flaw in this. If he lost his life in 2000 and it is now 2009 – I reckon he died 9 years ago. So who was ‘operating’ the account up to 4 years ago.

Actually I think I just might give the millions a miss !