The question the nation wants to know is
Can Lynn spin her tassels like Fabia did last night on Britain’s Got Talent?
Now there was a missed opportunity
If only the Tassel twirling Fabia had joined forces with Floral High Notes and the Wheelbarrow boys
That would have been an act to make the audience pay attention
I can just see it now
Tassel twirling Fabia standing – nay twirling – proud – whilst being whisked round the stage in a Wheelbarrow – clutching an ever growing flower display – all to a “Ren-Tit- ion” of Rule Britannia
It has legs – well tassels actually
Broadcast – unattributed
At last! Floral Highnotes as experienced on Britain’s Got Talent last night! That surprising mixture of Opera and Flower arranging ! That Nosegay of unlikely pairings!
But what an opportunity for you and your Underlings!
Just think of it – a routine of scoffing sounds, giggles and landrover revving noises accompanied by Boggy skipping around in his sailor suit!
Come to think of it – isn’t that what we get most mornings?
Perhaps not such a good idea then!
Oh well – back to the drawing board
Good Grief! Calm down! It’s only Wildlife!
What are the Spring Watch team being fed? – and I don’t mean the birds!
And can I have some!
What with Simon going into overdrive at a glimpse of a Polecat and Kate and Chris vying for the award for most over-excited presenter – I’m exhausted just watching!
But a solution is at hand
Please can they send some of their secret brew to the acts on Britain’s Got Talent – it might improve the so called Talent!
There’s something unnerving in a hornet
Viewed from a range of two feet
It’s the look in its eye of pure anger
Which brings fear and a wish to retreat!
The sky turned black as it launched its attack
Its body eclipsing the sun
And that syringe in its tail would make anyone pale
And I knew I was finally done!
I tried luring it into the hallway
In the hope it would leave by the door
But it soon spotted this devious manoeuvre
And buzzed round my head even more.
I’ve survived encounters with lions
Grisly Bears – just want a hug
But this has a look of pure venom
With the hatred of an overgrown thug
So as I hide here – shut in the closet
I have the airgun beside me – all ready
I will fight to the end – that’s a promise
Let’s just hope I can keep my aim steady!
The solution is now clear.
MPs could then pose the following questions with confidence:
“What am I doing here?”
“What did I come in here for?”
And of course the important statement when dealing with their expenses –
“I claim for no particular reason!”
All these would be met with an understanding and sympathetic ear and the House would achieve a new level of understanding – currently sadly at odds with the Public!
I commend the idea – To The House!!