Britain’s Got Talent

Broadcast – but not attributed!!

Well that was exciting wasn’t it.  A really good Britain’s Got Talent final!

Will you be entering with Deadly next year?  I’m sure you could get him to do a few tricks.

Jump through the odd hoop maybe.  Roll around in the gutter and perhaps lap up some points with the “Judges” .

I believe he’s  already  quite accomplished  with his balls???

You may find he needs  a few extra Pinot Grigios to perform at his best –  but I’m sure you can run to that!

I suggest you start the training programme now – I have a suspicion  he might enjoy being  Whipped into shape!

And he may be a slow learner!!

Good luck!


The British Summer Tourist


Through rain and storm they struggled

They didn’t know quite why

They’d been told the country was in drought

So they were hunting somewhere dry!

They’d heard that water was in short supply

That there was a hosepipe ban

All they wanted was a bit of sun

And to get a summer tan!

They cannot leave the country

The passport queues have seen to that

So they’re stuck here through this rain and flood

In their thermals and woolly hats!