Crasher Nove’s Driving tips spot


Broadcast

It’s just NOT working is it. I blame Crasher – it’s totally his fault
So far this week he has failed to give any sensible driving tips at all.
Mainly because he keeps anticipating the question and interrupting you.
Doesn’t he know whose show this is?
I think you need to give him a firm slap and put him in his place!
“Do not interrupt Terry when he’s talking”

Charles Nove’s Driving Tips spot


Broadcast

In my vain attempt to inject some interest into your failing show – I am bashing on trying to enliven the Crasher Nove’s Driving Tips spot

Never mind his abject failure to give any tip yesterday, please can he advise on how I should negotiate the middle lane hoggers on the M4.

Should I go from the slow lane to the fast lane and pass as usual – thus annoying those in the fast lane who are busy texting and carrying out all the other essential chores whilst on route to their destinations

Or should I ‘undertake’ on the slow lane and risk the possible hazard of being biffed by the ‘hogger’ suddenly deciding to change lanes?

My wellbeing depends on his reply

How about a Crasher Nove’s Driving Tips spot


Broadcast (not attributed)

Given Charles’s prowess behind the wheel, perhaps you could have a “Charles Nove’s Driving Tips”  spot.

So to give the spot a quick turn of the starting handle:

Could Charles please tell me “How should I stop?”

Should I adopt the brake gently approach –  giving ample warning to those behind or should I go for the full surprise  Emergency Stop and see if those behind are paying attention?


Broadcast  (At the start – but unattributed)

So at last it’s Crasher Nove’s week

Phew – Good News – at least that’s one less hazard on the roads whilst he is gainfully employed lashed to the Newsdesk for the next five days!

A few lines on Charles Nove’s bus and Deadly


Oh Charles Dear Charles
A word from all of us
If you want to stay sane and calm –
Don’t let Deadly drive your Bus!
For though fire engines have caused you grief in the past
The damage was small and did not last
But if Deadly got behind the wheel
The insurance claims could be surreal
Driving a bus requires a certain knack
So stick him with the punters – down the back!

A little ode to Charlie Nove’s driving


Broadcast

Will you drive a little faster ?
said The Deadly to Young Nove
There’s a fire-engine just behind us
and I have reason to suppose –
If you brake now we’ll be scuppered
as they’ll drive into our rear
And the costs of repairing it
will be high – or so I fear.

Where is Charles Nove?


Broadcast

Where of where has Charles Nove gone
Were of where can he be
He’s been left off the website
He’s not there with Alan, Lynn or Boggeee!

Lynn is now a newsreader
If Tel’s website is correct
But Charles has not been mentioned
Perhaps he’s myth rather than fact!

But if Charles is not a person
Then who is reading the news?
Dear Tel – we’d like a comment
Please give us all your views!

But Charles do not worry –
Don’t worry at all about us
For as long as the BBC is paying you
Just stick to driving your bus!