The restaurant – latest series – Le pauvre Raymond

Is it me?

My ‘eart bleeds for le pauvre Raymond !

If those  9 couples were the best from thousands of applicants – Wot in ‘eavens name were the rest like!

Even Inspector Barnaby would have been terrified by the knife wielding pair trying to wrestle that coconut to death!

Not to mention their tin opening skills.  Never had a knife and rolling pin been put to such hair-raising endeavours!

Hadn’t they ever come across that  basic  piece of culinary equipment – The Tin Opener!

“Attention mon pauvre Raymond –   Don’t do it!  You ‘ave a good life!  You do not need to go into business with ANY of them”

The look of desperation on the poor man’s face said it all!


Master Shout – the semis….

So what was wrong with Gregg last night.  He seems to have upped the anti even more.  Whereas Michel became quite calm and reasonable about the wannabe’s in the Semi Final, Gregg seemed to be enraged that they had got this far!

Actually maybe he has a point!

I am glad however that they chose the contestant that produced good flavour rather than the one who could only make his ‘plate of food’ look pretty.

Remember – Michel and Gregg – the idea is to eat the stuff not just look at it!!

Master Chef – another Car Crash evening!


So those master chef contestants “Hope to ‘break in’ to the top ranks of the world’s culinary elite.” Do they?    Well  breaking in is the only way they’ll get there  if last night was anything to go by!  They won’t get there by cooking that’s for sure!

Some of the courses  even failed to appear in the quarter final round!  Which – I don’t know about you – but  I feel is really a fairly basic error!

And then what about those Crème Brulee offerings !!  come on even I can manage to make one of those!

“Master Shout” – or “Car Crash Cookery”

Just when you thought that there was nothing left to be said about master shout we get taken to a whole new place!

And Thank Goodness for the safety of “behind the chaise longue” – really the only “place” to have watched the fish filleting exercise last night!

Definitely a case of Car Crash Cookery!

The makers of blue plasters must have seen a huge surge in sales recently!!

CODPIECE – The Society for those against frugal cooking!!

Things have indeed come to a sorry pass –

And I urge TOGS to join C.O.D.P.I.E.C.E. –

(which – as I am sure you realise – stands for
The society for Consumers of Out of Date Products In Every Cupboard Everywhere.) –

Concern has been mounting for several weeks that people are being forced by the current rash of frugal cookery programmes to actually consume their leftovers and other “best before date items” before they have been allowed to mature.

For years CODPIECE have encouraged their followers to save and store these items for weeks – nay even years – to ensure they reach their full potential.

Now ? Now people are being asked to actually eat them whilst still fresh and in date.


TOGS must unite and fight back!

Hey Ho – another week of cookery awaits us!

I do hope that Nigel Slater is going to stop telling us to adapt recipes! It can have worrying results:

The other day a close friend of mine decided – against her better judgement – to feed her flock home made Arctic Roll for their pudding

She battled through the complicated construction of this intricate dessert.

The family duly assembled – eager for this special treat.

She cut into the beautiful sponge exterior.

“What” they yelled – “No Ice Cream?”

With the Sang Froid of a true Brit – and glancing in horror at the unopened tub of ice cream sitting beside the cooker – she announced:

“Haven’t you heard of Global Warming – the Arctic has melted!”

Flying or Frying – Which to Watch


Oh goodness – What a dilemma – Springwatch or Master Bellow?

A BBC Scheduling Clash!

To stick with watching the ingredients “On the Wing” OR veering off to see the unknown celebs – “going on a journey “ and cooking them up on good old Master Chef!

Channel hopping between the two added a certain frisson

What fun to see the ducks flying straight over the marshes – and into the frying pan!

A case of Flying then Frying!