Heston’s visit

Major Dickie has been working hard improvising the required cooking implements. He’s created a steam jet using the boiler and the washing machine, fired up the towel rail heater and converted the wood burning stove into an oven.
Bring on Heston – we’re ready for anything!


That Banquet at the “Artichoke”

So pleased to see  Jenny “Licensed to Grill”  Bond lived up to her reputation of trying to create a crisis out of a glitch!  Well done!

Glad to see you got tucked in to your food before anyone could take anything away!

No wonder you’ve survived so long – always eat all you can when the opportunity presents itself – to ensure body and soul are kept together!

The Great British menu – The Banquet


So tonight’s the night then!

The Great British Menu Banquet

I suppose we will see you scoffing  all those fancy courses!

I do hope you don’t disgrace yourself in front of the wonderful Lady Helen!

Will we be faced with dear Jenny Bond doing the commentary – gosh I do hope not – she‘ll only try and make trouble.

Well – personally – I trust you put her in her place by adopting the Goldfinger approach:

Jenny Bond  “Well Sir Terry what do you expect?”

Sir Terry:  “I expect you to Fry  – Miss Bond!”

Heston’s Christmas



How could you?

After all that incredible food and amazing courses he gave you.

Which one of you picked a fight with poor Heston Bloomin-Wonderful and bopped him on the nose?


Hic! Heston Bloomin – what’s his name’s trifle

We started well with the 2 bottles of sherry. Major Dickie found the drill and threw away the coffee so he could create the ‘cement mixer‘.

I remember we put on the Janet and John CD – as directed by the food historian chappy.

I think things started going down-hill due to the numerous tasting sessions, as I can’t remember much after pouring the second bottle of sherry into the syrup.

This morning the kitchen walls have bits of red, green and yellow birdseed stuck to them, my hairdryer is glued to the coffee tin and there’s a very interesting mix of olives and strawberry jam at the bottom of one of the saucepans. We also appear to be out of eggs.

I am not feeling very well.


Heston Bloomin – eke’s risotto

Broadcast – but 1 day later to Heston himself when he was on TW’s show on Thursday 13th!
Oh dear, I have to say he lost me early on last night with all that rice cooking, drying and frying but then at last an ingredient every Tog understands – HORLICKS!


Heston Bloomin-Eck and Terry

So I see you’re off to sample some Reindeer road-kill courtesy of Heston.   I should have guessed you’d be first in the queue when provender is on offer!

Given the way he likes to offer a total experience when he serves his dishes I do hope for your sake that the sounds coming down the headphones are not either screeching brakes and car crash noises or the tune of Rudolph the rednose reindeer – I think either of those might put you off your food!