Quick hello


I have been out and about – hence no posts for rather a long time.

Sorry to all my blog readers.

I have been off tiger Watching in Kanha Park in India.  Great fun.  So much so that I think I shall do it again!

And I saw the Taj Mahal – which is totally breathtaking and reduced me to tears!

Major Dickie would have really enjoyed the trip I think.  But Major Dickie is still exploring the Amazon so I went alone.  As he seems determined to remain on his Amazonian quest I am embarking on quests of my own!

Now that the Togmeister is back on air I must get in touch……

Leaves are now classed as litter and Weeing in the Garden is Good!


So according to my purveyor of news – The Daily Telegraph – (other newspapers are available)  – Autumn  Leaves are now being classed as Litter!

Well as last night’s storm has now caused my garden to be  covered in “Litter”  Please can someone tell me which “Higher Authority”  I should complain to.

I demand compensation for the nuisance this has caused and the cost (albeit in physical effort) this is going to cause me in clearing it all up.

But – Just One Minute – A solution is at hand!!

Tthe National Trust is now suggesting Men should Wee in the compost heap – so  perhaps Major Dickie can “kill two birds with one stone”  and get both jobs done at once!

the Tan and Touch up emporium


Dear Mr Dedicoat

I don’t wish to complain
BUT
Major Dickie seems to be having far too much fun at that Tan and Touch-up Emporium of yours.
And as for your latest summer special – “ the South American all-over Exploration”
Well ! You can remove that “Amazone Body Wrap” of yours by telling her she can let go now!

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Expenses Claim for refurbishing the Chicken Coop


Given the current climate – do you think the Tax Authorities will permit my expenses claim for the refurbishment of the Chicken Coop as a 2nd home – as Major Dickie is currently residing in it!

I’d also like to claim for extra straw for bedding and an allowance for a primus stove!

I am relying on the inclement weather to keep the hosepipe ban at bay or his washing arrangements could become somewhat difficult – but I WON’T be claiming for the cost of a new bath plug – I have my pride!

Kate Humble’s tits usurped by the Long Tailed variety!


Broadcast

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Kate Humble’s Great Tits have been usurped by the little known Long Tailed Tit as the most seen tit this year!

She’ll really have to do a lot to redeem her position in this year’s Spring Watch!

However, The Major remains hopeful that she will come up trumps!

Last night’s offering of “The hottest place on earth “


What fun to watch Kate Humble and her chums pottering around in the hottest place on earth!
But – according to Major Dickie – the really hot moment – was the sight of Kate Humble snuggled up in her bed with not a lot underneath !