What’s going on?


Broadcast

Good grief – What’s going on????

What HAS come over the UK this weekend?

We appear to be winning at Cricket,

I’ve actually heard of most of the contenders for Sports Personality of the Year

And the Strickly semi-finalists can all actually dance rather well.

It’s all too Surreal

I’m off to see Craig Gravel-Hardstanding in Panto this afternoon just to ’round’ things off!!

Just a kiss could do it for you!


Good Morning

Clearly your ratings could do with a boost.

But don’t worry I have the answer!

On the basis of the new ‘just go for it’ Strictly come Dancing’s Gavin’s  latest move

I suggest you jump to your feet – we know your knees can cope now – and give Boggy a full on kiss.

That should boost the viewing figures on the red-button option this week.

Of course you may not feel ready to take this bold step….

Overlooked for hosting Strictly


Broadcast
(well only the first paragraph and that unattributed!!)

Dear Togmeister

So just when your flagging television career could have had a well needed boost  you were overlooked.

Your one chance to show you know your  “Ball changes”  from your “fleckles” and you failed to be noticed – AGAIN!

I am so sure you would have jumped at the chance to stand in for Brucey.

And  –  isn’t it a shame – you can’t even complain they went for a younger man!

Hey Ho – such is life – downhill all the way!!

Don’t you  go throwing a sicky on Friday or we’ll never see you again!

I’m Worried – have we missed a bad news day?


Broadcast

What did we miss?
Whilst the country has been consumed with waltzes, foxtrots and tangos – Not to mention the plight of Sparrows!
What Bad News has the Government released and conveniently buried whilst we’ve had our eyes – and ears diverted?
It’s VERY, VERY worrying!

Terry to take over from John Sergeant!!!


Broadcast

So Brucey wants you to be parachuted in to Strictly after the departure of You Know Who!
Well – I for one don’t think your knees are up to it – and those lifts could be the undoing of you.
In My Humble Opinion I think Boggy would be the answer.

A quick Sailors’ HornPipe would soon split the judges and that fickle finger of fate – which is the Public Vote and with luck – we could have another debacle on our hands!

Strictly and Eurovision – it’s all the same!!


On Eurovision tactical voting is known
This leaves the UK with no points of its own
They vote for their friends – and never the tune!
But from such tactics we are not so immune!
So P’raps we shouldn’t look so askance –
For Here – too many are voting – for those who can’t dance!!

Strictly – ditty


The viewers of Strictly have not had enough
Of seeing John Sergeant strut his stuff!

Certainly we know he can’t really dance
But we’re all keen to give him – just one more chance.

To get a high score is NOT so essential
For in dear John we can see – potential

And the viewers – and John – would be in heaven
To hear Len give him – just once – a “SEVEN”!