Snow! Never let it be said we haven’t been warned


Given the latest dire predictions from the Met Office I fully expect to awake tomorrow in the midst of the next Ice Age.

Woolly Mammoths will be roaming outside my windows and Polar Bears will be feasting on the remaining wild life.

I fully expect to be told this is all down to Climate Change !  Odd that no one said that back in the early 1960s when we were snowed in for weeks!!!

I’m Worried – have we missed a bad news day?


Broadcast

What did we miss?
Whilst the country has been consumed with waltzes, foxtrots and tangos – Not to mention the plight of Sparrows!
What Bad News has the Government released and conveniently buried whilst we’ve had our eyes – and ears diverted?
It’s VERY, VERY worrying!

German bottoms and cattle – amongst other things!


Gosh a ‘non Wogan week’!  And we all survived the turning on of the Hadron collider – which obviously didn’t collide.  Success on the broadcasting front on the day in question  (see below).  Jolly decent of Johnnie to read me out!

I am amazed by Germans!

Travelling home on Monday evening on my favourite motorway – the M4 – we drivers were greeted at one moment by the spectacle of a completely bare bottom squatting earthwards to enable the owner (a young lady – judging by the bits of her we were privileged to see!) to meet the call of nature!  Although the moment was necessarily fleeting due to the speed we were passing the incident – we all had time to notice the view and the German plates on the adjacent vehicle!  They really do have no shame!!

I had a fun week at work.  The company in its wisdom recently authorised the purchase of new chairs (a rare occurrence – last permitted in about 1989!).   As the person in charge of furniture it was my luck to order them.  I went for the all singing all dancing variety!  On Thursday we wheeled them out.  The next few hours were spent in staff playing with all the knobs and levers – much hilarity and very little work followed.

Assistance was at hand and I offered this excellent advice on Chair Adjustment by way of on-line instructions

Of course there are always those who don’t appreciate a gift horse when it canters up and nuzzles you!  The offer was actively, firmly and abruptly refused by a couple of those I have the dubious pleasure of working with – to put it plainly I was left in no doubt what I could do with these new objects of seating pleasure!  It is true you can never please all the people all of the time!

The Henley Show

Interesting smell..!

Interesting smell..!

Today was the highlight of the social calendar in our neck of the woods – The Henley Show!  Lots of stalls and opportunities to spend one’s hard earned cash – and of course all those fillies in tight jodhpurs for Major Dickie to enjoy looking at!  I quite liked the cattle – all scrubbed up and clean and no whiff of the farmyard about any of them!

Evening Pleasure!

And of course then there was the preview of Strictly come Dancing to watch, followed by Sue Perkins conducting and our Great Leader doing his bit at “Prawns in the Dark”.  The Major and I retired early.,,………..

Good night dear reader – The Major is calling me to the boudoir!

Tennis commentators don‘t overdo it!


Broadcast –  (well 1st verse!)

After watching Hickstead on Sunday afternoon where every time the commentators predicted a good round the horse brought down a large number of fences, I offer the following!

Hush Hush and lock up your daughters
Andy Murray is through to the Quarters!
With Murray Mount now if full force
Let’s ALL hope he can go the course.

But commentators – all – please refrain
From Making Predictions on his likely fame
For if one thing is certain to give it the kibosh
It’s all that hot air and exuberant tosh!!

the Tennis – what else!


Broadcast – Wednesday 25 June

Look BBC I can cope with watching tennis but – please – stick to the tennis. There is really no need to diversify!

Yesterday evening’s coverage was very confusing. One minute the ladies were bashing the ball back and forth, the next we seemed to be dipping into SpringWatch with a view of some ducks on a lake – that stopped the commentators in their tracks!

Then we were off to a TimeTeam Extra with Chinese Terracota warriors modelled on Tennis Players.

I bet that producer who did Ski Sunday last winter is involved – it has all the hallmarks!

A use for that road-washing lorry in Marylebone Road…


Now that we’ve all got to cycle everywhere   –  at long last there is a sensible use for that Road-Washing Vehicle in charge of the Marylebone Road

It’s obviously being lined up to hose down the cyclists when they arrive for work!  Instant Communal showers – mobile – and thorough!

Well done!

BBC Breakfast – cycling


Broadcast

A big Thank You to BBC Breakfast this morning who kindly showed us what a bicycle looks like as part of the their report on Cycling!

Amazing  – they even managed to park it against some railings – and not even padlocked!

Excellent!   I would have been completely lost without that vital outside broadcast!